


Oh, god

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Rule 63, karkat is the goddess, yeah thats basically it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2013-06-28
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:36:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/861082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which a goddess is disgusted by the world she created</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh, god

You hate this planet so much. You hate it you hate it you hate it. You can’t stop thinking about how much you hate this planet, oh my god.

How did you manage to create such a shitty society of such shitty creatures? They’re literally the dumbest vermin you ever saw. You can look at any point in time and just see how horrible they are in a second. They do the most pointless shit.

So why the hell are you walking through this place? The more you see of this park in the middle of the city, the less fond you are of it. The sunlight hurts your eyes, the heat is stifling, and there’s too much green, and somehow it’s still more appealing than the concrete structures beyond it.

The humans apparently don’t think so. Maybe the shitty heat is too much for their shitty bodies to handle. There are very few people out, and most of them just seem to be cutting through. Most of them don’t spare you a glance, and that pisses you off even more. Don’t they have any idea who you are? Or even if they don’t, shouldn’t it be obvious that you’re not of their world?

By the time you finally come across someone who seems to get the idea, you’re ready for an apocalypse.

“Greetings, mortal,” you spit in response to her stares.

You continue on your walk, ready to ignore her and leave her with that impression of you, but she does a double take. She changes direction and catches up to you. You pretend not to notice until she asks, “What did you just call me?”

You roll your eyes and give a dramatic sigh. “Mortal. Do you need a dictionary?”

“No, I know what it means, but why did you call me that?”

Still refusing to look at her, you snort. “Haven’t you figured it out? I’m your god.”

She snorts too. “Really?”

Okay, that pisses you off. You finally stop walking and turn on the ball of your foot. She nearly runs into you. “I could destroy this world and everything in it, including everything you’ve ever loved, with a snap of my fingers,” you say darkly. You raise your hand, poised to snap and carry out your threat. “Are you sure you want to test me?”

Unbelievably, she crosses her arms. “I’d like to see it. Go on.”

You can’t do that now though; she wouldn’t be around to see it, so you’d get no satisfaction out of gloating. Instead, you open your hand, your palm lifted toward the sky. As you rotate your hand, it begins to rain all around you, but neither of you get wet. When she still seems confused, you point to a tree over to your left and lightning strikes it.

(You don’t need to do any of the hand motions, really. It’s just for dramatic effect.)

When you think the girl has seen enough, you drop your arm. The sunlight and stifling heat return. You cross your arms smugly.

“So, you’re god?” she asks.

“A goddess, yes.”

You see the shock beginning to fade. Instead of some kind of reverence or fear though, an attitude begins to take its place. “And you created all of this?”

“I created your planet. I created your people. Your society progressed from there, but I was the one that set it up,” you say, honestly. You’re not going to take credit for this humongous pile of shit.

“Did you create Nicolas Cage too?” she asks, looking a little excited.

“The fuck I did,” you spit. The girl’s face falls. “Fucking hell, you raging dickmonkeys actually like him? This place has gone to the dogs.”

She crosses her arms as well. “Not everyone likes him. Actually, I’m the only one I know who likes him.”

You raise your eyebrows, and then cock your head to the side. “Point one for humanity, I guess. I’d still like to see this place destroyed, though.”

“Then why don’t you?” She drops her arms, and dammit she actually looks like she’s trying to be helpful, what the fuck. “You could destroy this place completely and start from scratch, so why don’t you?”

As much as you hate to admit it, she has a valid point. So, of course, it’s a valid point you’ve thought of before, and you have your answer ready. “It wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn’t be nearly enough to satisfy my rage. I could destroy and recreate and destroy this world again ten times over and I still wouldn’t be pleased!”

“Okay, but why are you so angry?” she asks.

“Because this world is rotten to the core,” you say. “It’s irredeemable. It’s so bad it’s almost laughable, but it really just makes me kind of nauseous.”

“Really? You think there’s nothing good about Earth?”

“That’s what I just said. Slow, aren’t you?”

She huffs. You smirk, because you got to her. She spreads her arms out wide. “You don’t think this place is beautiful?”

You look to your left, and then to your right, and back at her. You raise your eyebrows, and she seems to get the message.

After another moment, she smiles. “What about kittens, and puppies? Actually, just baby animals in general. There’s also movies, and the Internet, and ice cream sandwiches.”

Is she. Seriously. Going to try to list a bunch of things she likes. To try to save her world. “I’ll concede you ice cream sandwiches,” you tell her, “but that’s not enough.”

“Ice cream in general though,” she says, unperturbed. “And pie, and cake, and just every dessert.” She seems like she’s about to stop, but you sigh, and she takes it as a cue to continue. “What about music? There’s so much good music. Books too, and television. And people are so creative; they’ve invented so many things! And everyone I’ve met has been so good. I’ve made so many good friends, and I guess I owe them to you.”

She seriously just.

“Unbelievable,” you groan. “Out of everyone I could have stumbled upon, I met the one girl dumb enough to challenge a god.”

You expect her to be offended. Instead, she laughs in your face. “Any of my friends would do the same. Seriously, Earth is so wonderful, and people are wonderful. I know it’s hard to see sometimes, but then other times it’s just so totally obvious that you can’t really deny it.”

You pause, giving her time to elaborate, but you have to prompt her when she doesn’t. “Can you back that up?”

“Of course I can. I’m guessing you’ve seen things in the history of the entire planet? Just think about it. For every person trying to harm other people, there’s hundreds rushing to save them. Every time.” Her smile is a little sad now, and for the first time, you’re a little bit moved. You still don’t really want to admit it though, so you simply shrug and look downwards as you think.

You’re a little startled by a hand coming into your vision. “Here, come with me. My name’s Joan. Let me show you how awesome this world is.”

You meet her eyes, and Joan is grinning again. Looking from her bright gaze to her extended hand, you’re still wondering if she’s really serious. For some reason though, you don’t want to turn her down.

Fuck it. She may very well have a point. You uncross your arms and slouch a little. Taking her hand, you allow her to lead you in whichever direction, and prepare yourself for a taste of some more of the positive things about this world you’ve created.

Who knows? She may have a point.


End file.
